A Not-So Brief Update

Hello! It has been quite some time since I’ve posted something other than a brief poem or photo on my blog. To say that the last couple of months have been crazy is a huge understatement!

In mid-October, someone I went to school with, traveled with, and who was part of our work family passed away in a car accident. It was incredibly shocking and I still haven’t wholly processed what has happened or that I won’t see him again. It’s one thing to see these kinds of thing in the news and think, “That could never happen to anyone I know” or “I feel bad for that family; I’m just glad it wasn’t someone I know.” It’s tough to write those words, but I think it’s being honest that those thoughts do run through our heads, regardless of intention. It was a blow when I actually knew the person in those news stories. I can’t imagine what his family must be going through, but I know it can’t be easy, and my thoughts are with them and another family in our community who has been dealt a particularly unfair dash of loss over the last couple of months.

Unfortunately, I was unable to go to that friend’s funeral because I was scheduled to go to Austin for a training for work. Despite the circumstances (all of us who went had either known or knew of the person who was killed), we had a great training and were able to fit in some fun activities, ranging from having fun and site-seeing on both sides of Sixth Street to visiting the gorgeous Texas State Capitol building. I believe I accomplished everything I wanted to on that trip outside of work commitments, including eating a delicious donut concoction from a Gourdough’s food truck (yes, bacon WAS involved)! As I have time to go through pictures, I will post more about that trip to Austin, including some pictures I took with my new camera! (New camera- blah! Another blog post is in store.)

In good news, the company I work for just recently launched the iPhone – the reason for my trip and something I have been wanting for many years! This has added some level of stress and further responsibility at work, but it is gratifying to see something I’ve worked on in bits and pieces for so long come to fruition. I can’t wait to travel with it next month to Florida – this camera is awesome!! And I am having fun discovering new apps that will hopefully help me keep on track with my creative endeavors.

Speaking of Florida, in just a short couple of weeks, I will be flying down to the Fort Lauderdale area to spend a week with my awesome friend and mentor, Laura, who you may remember spent a day with me taking pictures on the backroads of Southwest Kansas back in September (I will be posting more of those pictures soon!). We will be spending a couple of days at Walt Disney World, a place I never thought I’d want to go, but now that the opportunity has presented itself, I can’t wait to see and experience! I’ve heard from many that it is a magical and awesome place that can’t be described with words. (Cue any suggestions for Downtown Disney, Magic Kingdom and Epcot!)

Speaking of Laura, we are starting something I’m really looking forward to – weekly challenges or goals to help keep our creative gears running. This last week, our goal was to process and post 20 pictures (we both have WAY TOO MANY photos in our archives that we’re both itching to get through), and this coming week, we are focusing on writing a piece integrating two prompts from http://www.magatsu.net/art/index.php: “a gondola” and “evening glow.” I haven’t written anything substantive for a while, and with that combo, I think I am ready to get back in the game!

It’s hard to believe that the Thanksgiving holiday is just around the corner for those of us in the United States. I, for one, am grateful for many things – my family, my friends, my job, my dreams, and even those (many!) weaknesses that keep pushing me to become a better person.

In light of recent events, I am particularly grateful for life. It becomes more real after these events just how little time we have here and how we can have absolutely no warning, in some cases, of when our end is near. I haven’t really feared death in and of itself since I was much younger, but I am anxious and more aware that I won’t be able to accomplish everything I want to before that day comes. I have lots of things I want to do, and one of those things is to get back into shape. I haven’t been “in shape” for quite some time (ever???! Lol!), the last being the summer of 2012 after I had lost almost 30 pounds. In the subsequent year, I’ve gained that back plus some, letting myself and those who cheered me on down. I know, deep inside, that in order to accomplish my travel goals and see my beautiful niece grow up into a bright young woman (to say nothing of the rest), going forward, I have to give as much attention to my body as I have to other aspects of my life. Intellectually, I know what I should be doing, but putting that into practice will be a huge goal going forward.

Whew! I think that’s enough rambling for one night! I will be posting pictures from my Backroads Adventure Day with Laura, as well as a similar outing with my brother, throughout the next couple of weeks. And I pledge to do a better job of posting as I go about daily life, as well as fun updates from Florida!

Have a great week!!

Confusion

Sometimes in life, you just get confused. You think you’re doing the right thing, but then you start to think about it a bit more, or perhaps certain events prompt it, but you start to doubt and question yourself.

This has been happening a lot lately for me. Last night, nearing midnight, I got so frustrated that I could have screamed! I thought about how work and life aren’t always fair (at least in my eyes), and I decided that rather than go off the deep end and start the virtual B Roll of negative thoughts and feelings, I would channel it into my Moleskine sketchbook/journal.

Being new to the game of journaling, I’ve still found it therapeutic and relaxing to create art rather than bring negative energy into the world. Because God knows there’s enough of that out there already!

This piece, to me, shows confusion at its best… Converging, diverging and crossing lines show how circumstances so frequently enter and exit our lives; the curly and curved lines show that no path is correct, or the same as another’s; the opposing focal points and the reds show the anger and frustration that we must all experience to see the good things in life; the EKG lines, abstract mountain peaks and other objects show the obstacles we face daily; and the torch represents the coming-to-a-head of all these emotions, thoughts and feelings.

In the end, we question the meaning of our lives here on earth. The age-old question, “Why are we here?” doesn’t have an easy answer, if it has one at all. Many of us have goals, activities and other reasons that keep us living, and when we stray from those things, it’s important to find ways to get back to center. For me, I hope that journaling and getting back to creating art will make for a good start.